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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29603130">Enough is who you are</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/tired_walnut/pseuds/tired_walnut'>tired_walnut</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>All Platonic - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Wings, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dream Smp, Suicide Attempt, Suicide mention, Tommy Wing AU, TommyInnit gets a hug and it is a damn good one, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, WilburSoot mentioned, Winged Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Winged TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Wingfic, Wings, dream mentioned, i saw wingfics one day and i decided that is now only what i will write, techbur twins mention, why can i only write at midnight when i have to be up early</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 02:35:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,241</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29603130</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/tired_walnut/pseuds/tired_walnut</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It's simple really: It starts with calling out your family, hugs, and self reflection.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>No Romantic Relationship(s), Technoblade &amp; TommyInnit &amp; Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade &amp; TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit &amp; Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>264</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Enough is who you are</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Philza Minecraft was an okay father, he would like to believe. He would like to believe that his kids loved him and that he did everything he could for them to grow up happy. He fed, sheltered and loved them despite how difficult it could get. Even knowing this, he knew he was not a good father, he settled for okay.</p><p>He knew that he was not a good father the moment his middle son looked at him with insanity in his eyes pleading for his father to kill him, to which his cries were fulfilled. He knew that the minute his youngest boy screamed out for his brother, as his middle son's twin brother watched with a blank face but eyes filled with terror.</p><p>Phil knew he was a bad father when he watched his youngest son get exiled for the second time, he would stay up at night and wonder if this exile would lead to him killing the poor boy. He never checked though, mostly afraid that he would be asked to kill another son. If he just stayed away, he could pretend his son's exile was going fine, he was learning a lesson that needed taught, he ignored the question nagging him: What was the lesson to be learned?</p><p>He was certain he was a terrible father when a man clad in a smiley face mask came to the house in the tundra, asking about Phil’s young boy. Phil knew nothing, how could he? He hasn’t properly talked to his son since the 16th of November. He wondered how his son was every day, he wondered if his boy's wings were taken care of. He wondered if his son slept warm, or was well fed, if he was loved. Phil dared not to check, and he would forever regret this.</p><p>Phil had no doubt in his mind he was amongst the list of horrible fathers when he walked into the Nether one day, walking through the hellscape. On his journey, he came across an obsidian bridge with stone stairs lined against it, leading to the Nether Hub portal, he ignored this bridge and kept walking. </p><p>He stopped walking when he saw a glimpse of white hidden in between Crimson trees, a glimpse of white that should not be there. The warrior was intrigued, anything white was rare in this part of the Nether, he knew for a fact this wasn’t quartz.  </p><p>So he changed direction, when he got to the source of the colour, he couldn’t help but let out a gasp that echoed through the forest, Phil knew this sight would forever haunt him. Staring into the lava was his boy. His broken boy, his boy who he raised. Oh his poor son, his poor broken son, leaning over the ledge and staring into the pit of lava like it was his only safety. The boy's wings were spread to the side of him, red, orange, and yellow feathers crooked. </p><p>He could not speak, no matter how much he wanted to. So dearly he wished to be able to tell his son he was there, that he loved him, that he was sorry, that he will make it better. How badly he wanted to grab his son and hold him so tight it hurt. Instead he watched. </p><p>They say that most parent's instincts are frozen in fear when they see their kids in danger, but that melts when the child shows themselves to be afraid. This is true, as Phil calls to his youngest son after he hears the sniffles from the boy as he cries. </p><p>Normally, every child feels a sense of safety when their parents call out to them, as though they know that their parents will make everything better, or do their best to do so. This is another truth. But first, they will panic. All children want is their family to be proud of them, this is a fact. When a child is in danger, they will think their parents are disappointed, but this feeling will be pushed aside. </p><p>“Please leave.” Was all a child said, his voice cracking as though he hadn’t used it. There was no screaming, no cursing, no laughter, only pure sadness. “I don’t want you to see this.”</p><p>Philza is a horrible father. He knows this. But he knows that he will try, for his sons sake. “No.”</p><p>“You’ve done it before, turned a blind eye on me when I needed you. You can do it again,” How convinced the boy was of his words made Phil want to cry. How true those words were. Phil had ignored his son when his older brother, the person he died for, had died. Phil ignored his son to help with the minor amounts of trauma his eldest had. </p><p>“I’m not doing it again.”</p><p>“Because you don’t want to feel guilty.”</p><p>“That’s not true.”</p><p>Tommy turns around, looking his father in the eyes. “Then why care now?” </p><p>Many people who meet the boy will say he is loud, he is annoying and will never shut up. That he is a child who only cares for scams. But only four people know this is not true. Tommy is observant, he notices behaviour that no one else does. He sees things that no one else can. </p><p>“Because you’re my son,” Phil was the Angel of Death. He is a man who has murdered and ruined homes. One who has commanded armies. Phil is also a father, he is a man who raised three boys, favoured one, killed another, and left the final. In his time as a commander, he learned he had to be patient, no war is won on impulse. In his time as a father, he relearned how to be patient. How to not snap when something went wrong, instead to talk it through so it would not happen again.</p><p>He is a father and a commander, and he will never forget the skills he learned through this. “You’re my son. That is why I care.”</p><p>“Then why! Why were you not there!” Tommy stood, looking with something that some might say was anger, but a father knows his son’s sorrow. </p><p>Honesty was an important part of raising a child, so he spoke the truth. “I was afraid that you would ask me to kill you.”</p><p>“But you wouldn’t save me.”</p><p>“I didn’t think you needed it.”</p><p>“I always needed it.”</p><p>“I know that now, I wish I knew it then. I wish I had been there then.”</p><p>“Is this worse?”</p><p>Phil pondered, thinking of the mad look in his musicians soft eyes and the broken look in his youngest's dull (they used to be bright as the sky) eyes. “Yes.”</p><p>Tommy stepped closer to the edge and Phil was already ready to take off, to grab his boy. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I can’t do anything right. I’m sorry I forgot how to fly. I’m sorry how I only let you down, maybe in another world I’m a better son. I guess I’m just not enough. Maybe I didn’t want to remember. I love the feeling of falling, of catching myself last minute. I don’t wanna catch myself.”</p><p>“Then I’ll catch you,” Phils voice cracked, he had kept it so steady. Parents shouldn’t show their children their fears, for their child will panic more. But Phil was a horrible father, might as well add something more to the list. </p><p> </p><p>Then Tommy cracked. He fell to the burning netherrack, wings hanging uselessly at his side as he sobbed, whispering how sorry he was, that he was tired, that he just wanted a home, that he should have done better. Phil rushed forward, grabbing his boy and wrapping him in a hug so tight it was sure to hurt. Tommy was safe, Tommy was in his arms. They were going home. </p><p> </p><p>----</p><p>Technoblade was a horrible brother, he knew this from the moment Tommy was brought home. He would never be able to calm the boy or be loved by the boy as much as he loved Wilbur, but the kid still loved him. He loved his stories and training lessons. He loved Techno with such raw emotion then he knew was possible. In return, Techno loved the boy. </p><p>Techno loved his brother (he loves both of them, despite one being dead) and he would stay loving his brother. But he didn’t know how to show it. He was not one for words, nor actions that were big. He showed he cared through giving extra food, bandaging wounds, dry humour. He has never said ‘I love you’ in his life. He would not say it. </p><p>He wished he did.</p><p>As he sits on his couch, reading about Theseus and sipping on peppermint tea, he reflects on the boy he once told to die a hero. The boy is too stubborn to do so, he will live. Techno never considered that the boy would break, he wished he had thought more on it.</p><p>He thinks of his brother as the front door is slammed open like Tommy used to do. He looks up to see why there was such urgency when his blood runs cold. His father stood there, frantic and holding something wrapped in a blue cape. The only reason Techno knew who it was was the blond hair at the top and wings poking out of the back.</p><p>That is all it takes for him to be off the couch, his brother to be in the spot he once was, and injuries being checked over with careful hands. The boy is out cold, dead to the world but breathing steadily.</p><p>After five minutes, Phil speaks. “He tried to kill himself”</p><p>As much as it hurt to say, Techno wasn’t surprised. His brother had been through to be fine, Techno was a fool for thinking he would be. </p><p>“Techno, he was on that ledge. He sounded… so broken. I should have been there. I keep failing my kids.”</p><p>“You haven’t failed yet. I’m here, Tommy’s here, a little fucked up but that’s fine. We’ll help him, we’ll help him heal.”</p><p>Phil cards through the blond's greasy hair, touch keeping him stable. “Will he let us?”</p><p>“He might yell a bit”</p><p>----</p><p>Tommy did not yell. When he woke up, he smiled. Of course his afterlife would be in a place that smelt of Techno and Phil. His afterlife would be warm. He would wait for his family to come, he would apologise to Phil for what he had witnessed, for now he would enjoy the permanent happiness. </p><p>Until his brother walked in. Then, Tommy was cold. Technoblade never dies, so he shouldn’t be here. </p><p>Techno didn’t realise Tommy was awake, even though he watched his little brother carefully. Tommy kept his eyes barely open, breathing slow. He learned to do this with Dream, prolonging the inevitable. Then it hit him.</p><p>Tommy Innit was not dead. His first reaction? “Fuck.”</p><p>Techno’s eyes snapped to him, the pig hybrid dropped the logs he held to be at his brother's side. </p><p>“Can’t even off myself properly. Damn you Philza Minecraft,” Tommy said silently, as though he was unsure.</p><p>“Don’t say that.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why not? You wanted me dead mere months ago, what’s different now? The fact you didn’t do it yourself?”</p><p>When one is tired, they do not go for the exhausting activity, they sit and rest. Tommy is tired, he will not yell or scream or curse. He will say what he thinks, it’s easier to be truthful.</p><p>“The fact that you’re still my brother, and I’m an idiot.”</p><p> </p><p>“Runs in the family,” Tommy chuckled, it turned into a cough quickly. Phil ran down the stairs, stopping to look at his boys.</p><p>“Hey, mate,” Phil spoke so silently, as though he might make the boy break. </p><p>When the parent and child are safe, they will hold each other tight. They will not let go until they need to see each other. </p><p>“You saved me, didn’t know you were down with saving your kids when they’re at their end.” Tommy’s comment, how casually it was said, sent a knife through Phil’s chest.</p><p>“I want to change that, I’m not losing another son.”</p><p>The awkwardness in the room was felt by all three, what do you say to the brother you failed, the son you let down, the broken boy, the boy you need to do better for? It’s simple. You say nothing. You grab them, and you hold them tight. You do not let go. </p><p>That is how the broken family fell to sleep, holding each other. You talk later, but for now, you need each other. Trauma dealt with the next few days, but just for a bit, you hold on. For family is a lifeline. A family is not just blood, it is your friends. Tommy and Techno shared no bond of blood, but a bond through Phil strengthened by each other. In another world, they call themselves friends.This is not that world, that other world is one of betrayal, explosions, and evil red eggs.</p><p>This world a family holds each other, they heal. Red, orange, and yellow wings are cleaned and preened by caring hands. </p><p>Soon, a fourth and living member will join as though he never died. He will be held by his family and he will apologise for not being enough.</p><p>Turns out, in this family, who you are is enough.</p>
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